She said.

She said., originally uploaded by maotai.

what i want you cannot give me, she said

you cannot and will not offer it because that is the way you are

when we first met five years ago

i sense the danger to my being, the possible heartache, the pain

i know you are a well, your walls are smooth and your waters deep

for five years i enjoyed you on the few occasions

when you came into town, sipping wine and coffee

talking of our common interests, having great meals

i know you are a well, you are deep and your waters refreshing

i tasted waters from the well and it quenched my thirst

i think i did right for the five years, i went on with my life

i immersed myself in my work not thinking about the impossible

i found myself a boyfriend who looks like you

thinking that probable is better than the impossible

i think i did right for the five years

till four nights back

you called we met and i started thinking 'just once' 'only once'

as we walked your warmth overwhelmed me

as we sat across the table i wanted you

'just once' 'only once'

to have what i do not have cannot have will not have

'just once' 'only once'

i think i did right for the five years

then that was four nights back

i drank i drank deeply and sank into the well

you are a deep well your walls are smooth i find no escape

bring me to the top release me

i cannot do it alone i do not have the strength

i hate you

i did right for the five years

i love you

please release me

... and we cried, bound.